Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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