I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
