At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
