I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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