i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
