I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
