Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Are we in a gay sports bar?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
