Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
