Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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