k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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