i was rollin on her like bob the builder
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
