my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
