Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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