Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
