I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
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