what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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