Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
COCAINE IS GR8
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
