R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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