Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
