At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
