I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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