How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
