I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
