I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
