I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We're too hungover to prance.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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