He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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