Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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