What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
