We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
