It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
