please come you make the beer taste better
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
