I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
i out mim tonsoeep
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
