Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
