dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
