i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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