were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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