What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
