Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
