I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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