I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
