I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
