I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
