No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
