You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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