is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
if only i could text you this smell
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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