hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
