what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
