one two three fourrrrnication!
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
