How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
