Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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