Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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