I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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