not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
