My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
