Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
