I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
